Saturday, August 22, 2015

HOW TO DEAL WITH "OBSTINATE CHILD"

             As a kid I was a very obstinate child,i used to get angry about my dresses,my food,and on lots of small thing,but i never seen my mom to loss her cool or become angry on me and now as a mom of two kids when, I faced that kind of issues I become very restless and I m very sure that"OBSTINATE CHILD" is most common problem of  most of parents.  
                                               Kids are so obstinate ,so demanding,picky eaters and do not listen to parents,and this kind of issues make parenting a much more difficult job.
                                     When I have talked to my mom she told me some secrets of parenting,they are called "SMART PARENTING" in modern term. and if u are irritated from your child'obstinate behaviour try to focus on following points.                                                                                   
  1. As a human we all have emotions like happy,sad,proud,angry so up to a limit all emotions are allowed and they are healthy for our emotional health.                                                              
  2. "OBSERVATION BEFORE REACTION"is must.most of us parent react on kids bed behavior before observing,so please try to"OBSERVE"in deapth,why he is reacting like that.                
  3. In very small kids,who cannot express their problem,in most of the cases,WHEN THEY DO NOT FEEL GOOD,WHEN THEY GET BOARED,WHEN THEY DID NOT GET WHAT THEY WANT, they star showing bed behaviour in the form of obstinacy and anger.             
  4. For small kids solution is TRY TO CHANGE THEIR MOOD by involving them in different activities,instead of reacting on their behaviour.                                                                            
  5. In older kids"TALKING AND COMMUNICATION"is main tool.talk to them why they are behaving like that.reason may be physical,mental,emotional or some other like any school issues bothering them so again before reacting. observation then reaction is key.
  6. Make a positive statement for communication.M "Lets go to bathroom and get ready for school" -------------no,I will not ,"Lets go to bed for sleep"-------------------no i will not."Lets do the homework"---------no i will not.I think this kind of replies are common from most of the kids.so instead of this try to make a connection with kids and talk in positive manner. for ex.If Kids are watching t.v. and u want to make them sleep then FIRST MAKE A CONNECTION what are u watching,look i have a new book for u,come with me i will tell u a new story,then they will suddenly get distracted from t.v.and will get ready to go to bed.       
  7. If u want to make a cleanup  instead of forcing them say"AS SOON AS U WILL DO CLEANUP I WILL TAKE U TO PARK",in short positive statements,rewarding policies work very well with kids.if they do good job,praise them,reward them.                                              
  8. Physical activities are must for all are group of kids,if their energy do not utilize in positive direction they will use it in negative direction.                                                                           
  9. Hitting,beating is strict no,because it will not solve any issue .only create a negative impact and wrong learning from parent.                                                                                                         
  10. TIME OUT means leave the child alone when he misbehave for sometime when u r also in bed mood may allow,but do not left child alone for long time,it will cause a sense of loneliness in them.hug them and talk them.                                                                                                  
  11. Be A ROLE MODEL is must because Ur reaction and Ur response is learning key for kids.      so BE PATIENT and apply this small tool,hope they will make path of parenting a little easier.                                     ",                                                                                                               

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