By the end of this week, I am turning 36. It is an age that I have never been particularly concerned before, but when it was pointed out me that 36 is much nearer to 40...I have gotten a different set of emotions instantly. The emotions are not only related to the thing that I am getting older just as an individual but as a mom too. It is true that now I am an experienced, mature mom who had two absolutely adorable kids and wonderful memories of 8 years of motherhood journey.
It is a journey that makes me cry, that makes me laugh and gives me an immense sense of satisfaction and joy. Like all other moms, I also love my children most divinely and after passing the first crucial, difficult and most beautiful years of my motherhood journey I feel myself blessed. It is the best thing in the world that could ever happen to me. And now, time is changing, my kids are growing up.
Yes! I am very excited to see them grow up. They never cease to amaze me. My one doll is almost 8 and second is almost 6. It is amazing to see them being independent. Now, they can eat by themselves…they do their routine chores…they don’t need me like before. Now, they are too big for me to carry. With my younger one, I am just enjoying the last fleeting moments of being a young child. It seems like the time is slipping through my fingers. Of course, it makes me feel nostalgic and somewhat sad, but on another side, I am equally excited about this “New inning” of life.
Eight years ago, with the birth of my first baby, the mother inside me was also born and I began to step forward into everything that I had envisioned as a mother. I still remember the first time when I had hold her in my arm…I feel like the deepest part of my soul have been uncovered and light has shone on them for the first time. The joy and amazement when she has said her first word as a “Mumma”, is so hard to even put into words. Then we had been through a lot of milestones, rolling over, sitting up, eating solid foods, crawling, walking, talking…I had enjoyed the each sweet tiny moment of her infancy with the same joy and satisfaction.
After few years, with the birth of my second daughter, we get a sense of completing our family. It was a moment to cherish that my little doll is now a big sister. I could have no great joy than to see that my two kids playing together; growing together…celebrating the pure spirit of sibling relationship was the greatest gift of god for me. There were the moments of love, joy and togetherness that even I cannot describe in words.
While on another side, it has not always been an easy road, the sleepless nights, the tantrums, the feeling pulled in many different directions with no end in sight, definitely felt overwhelmed and pressurizing. It was the stage of life when I was dealing with the mental, physical and emotional exhaustion. In this stage of life, I was dealing with teething, ear infections, stomach virus. It was the stage of life when I had guilt over staying at home with kids and not having a career. It was the time when multiple responsibilities had broken me many times.
It was the time when I had never got enough time for me. It was the most difficult situation to handle when my both kids (one is 3 and second is 1) need me at the same time. Their simultaneous cry, their constant demand was the enough to make me feel helpless. It was the stage of life when I felt that parenting is really hard. It is messy. It is exhausting. But with the grace of god we as a family had crossed all the toughest moment. And now, when I rememorizing all these moments on a special day, it gives me intense powerful mixed of emotions that I had felt during these 8 years of journey.
Oh! I think I had written so much about my motherhood journey...by the way back to the current day, turning 36 with being a mom of two lovely kids is the biggest achievement for me. And as we get older we all tend to get some common emotions such as:
Now time has gone, we have no ambition; we have no dream, no goals. If I got some opportunity years ago, then I would be a big, successful person. Now, I had only some remaining responsibilities to complete. That’s it. But I think keeping that kind of attitude does not work at all. It just brings a negativity and pessimism in life. Being older usually makes people depress. But I think it is a blessing of god. And the birthday is an ideal time to re-analyse the things in our life. What we had? And what can we do to improve it, is a great place to start? It is a natural time to thinking about self-reflection.
This birthday, I had some great resolution for myself, which I would love to share with you all. Hoping it may inspire others.
Life style focus
As I had already explained, like all other moms I also had a tough time during this 8 years (of course along with beautiful) and the most important thing that I had missed during these years is the desired life style that I wished to have myself. I had missed my food, I had missed walking routine, I had missed my sleep, I had never gotten enough time for myself and now, when I had a chance and time the first and most important thing that I will work this year is “Improving life style” with healthy diet and regular exercise. Since 5 years, I wished to learn “Yoga”, but because of the same time issue, I would be never able to complete this. But now I believed I will get enough time and I will learn it.
I had a request to all moms please,
“It is hard to take time for you, but whenever it is possible to do it. Focus on your diet and exercise is the key that not only improves your health but by doing this, you are creating a healthy atmosphere for your family as well”
Reinvent my fashion and dressing dress
If you will ask me anything related to kids’ stuff, regarding their accessories, clothing, toys, I would be able to give you a perfect answer within a minute. But when it comes to women fashion or dressing trends, I cannot answer. And of course, I had no regrets for same. I had an immense pleasure while exploring all kid’s stuff during these years. But yes! It is also true that sometimes I missed my college days. I missed those perfect outfits, but no problem. I still could be a “Yummy mummy”. Yes! Now I want to reinvent my dressing and fashion sense. I want to appear as a confident mommy in front of my kids.
“We always get stuck between various family responsibilities and never get enough time to put attention on ourselves, but it is the most important thing that increases our confidence and positive attitude. So why not reinvent your fashion style?”
Live your dream, have goals and career ambition
It is the third important resolution that I had on my list. I had quit my job when I was first time pregnant. I had restarted my clinic when the second daughter had born and again closed it to just take care of her. I want to spend and enjoy each sweet tiny moment of their childhood. I want to give an exclusive mother love and care. And I had done that too, but during these years I was out of the track to my career. Again no regrets…but still, have a desire to do something and to achieve something. And for that purpose, I had restarted my journey as a blogger and with the help of my writing, I had regained my confidence. Now, I had some bright future plans such as writing a book, relaunching my clinic etc. indeed, it is not easy but I had a plan and it gives me a sense of happiness.
“It’s never too late to live your dreams. Most of the time we had a thought that “now, it is not possible”. But it is possible, just take the first step, have dreams and plans. It is vital to feeling self-contented.”
I want to be a better mom
While reading this, some of you may have thought that I am a selfish person. I am planning just for myself, not for family. But it is not true; I am doing all these stuff not only for me but for keeping my family happy as well. During these years I had learnt one thing that if I feel self-satisfied and self-contented that I would be able to complete my responsibilities as a mom, as a wife more easily. And when I feel depressed, I yelled a lot. I did not find mommy stuffs enough interesting. So moms,
“There is nothing wrong in think about you. If you are a happy and satisfied person, then you could be a happy and serving mom.”
So these are my birth day resolutions for this year. Hoping I would be able to achieve them during this year. Did you have any plans that are just for yourself? Did you feel the way that I do?